ECEC teachers’ concerns about children’s loneliness and ostracism are common
ECEC teachers are in a prime position to observe children's interactions within a group. A recent study examined ECEC teachers’ observations of loneliness and ostracism among 5-year-old children. Ostracism refers to unintentional or deliberate social exclusion. Based on the teachers’ observations, subgroups were formed and their associations with children’s social-emotional functioning, vocabulary and language background were examined. The study is part of a two-year pre-primary education trial, the Right to Belong research consortium and the EDUCA Flagship.
Most children get along well with their peers
Based on teachers’ observations, the experiences of loneliness and ostracism were rare for most children. This subgroup included four-fifths of the children in the study. According to the teachers’ assessments, these children had few emotional and friendship difficulties, and exhibited a great deal of prosocial behaviour, that is, behaviour that is considerate and beneficial to others, such as helping and cooperating.
"Even in young children, socio-emotional skills help them to join in games and thus develop their social skills further,” says postdoctoral researcher Anne-Elina Salo from the University of Jyväskylä. “This creates a virtuous circle, while at the same time preventing loneliness.”
Loneliness was associated with emotional difficulties, ostracism with behavioural difficulties and hyperactivity
Based on the teachers’ observations, about one-fifth of the children were often either lonely (10.5% of children), or ostracized (1.6%), or both (7.7%). Children who were assessed as often being both lonely and ostracized had particularly many challenges in their friendships. Children who were often lonely were often assessed as having more emotional difficulties, while children who were repeatedly excluded from play, that is, those who were the ostracized, demonstrated more behavioural difficulties and hyperactivity.
“Causal relationships could not be determined this study, but previous research suggests that behavioural challenges and hyperactivity can increase the risk of being excluded,” Salo says. “On the other hand, children also react to ostracism in different ways. Often, they try at first to fit in by so-called good methods, but if that doesn’t work, they may try to be seen by any means necessary, because exclusion is so hurtful.”
Advanced language skills can protect against loneliness and exclusion
Children with a rich vocabulary and those who spoke one of Finland's official languages as their mother tongue were, according to teachers' observations, less likely to be lonely and ostracised. A linguistically skilled child may find it easier to join in games and achieve so-called social goals. On the other hand, being excluded from play also reduces opportunities to practice language skills. It is therefore important to find ways to include all children in play, even when a common language is not immediately available or is still developing.
Recognizing loneliness and ostracism is not always easy
Experiences of loneliness and ostracism can manifest themselves in many ways in daily interaction settings. As the study was based on the observations of ECEC teachers, the results are also influenced by their interpretations. Adults’ own perceptions of what kind of behaviour signals which social challenge can affect the recognition of loneliness and ostracism.
“A child who feels lonely may withdraw and appear downcast, but the discomfort arising from loneliness can also manifest itself in behavioural difficulties or restlessness,” Salo says. “In the latter case, loneliness may remain hidden behind behaviour that is perceived as challenging. At its worst, this can create a negative cycle in which behavioural symptoms and exclusion are reinforced, while the painful experience remains hidden even deeper.”
Adults are responsible for guiding peer interaction
Adults working with children need skills in supporting safe and inclusive peer interaction that promotes and in the early identification of experiences of loneliness and exclusion. In addition, sufficient resources must be secured for interacting with children as individuals and as part of a group so that all children receive the support they need.
Supporting the development of all children’s socio-emotional skills plays a key role. These skills help children join in and include others in play and to interact positively with each other. In families, early childhood education and care and the cooperation between them, it is important to reinforce children’s prosocial behaviour, support the development of empathy, and intervene in their exclusionary behaviour at an early stage.
Full article
Salo, A.-E., Upadyaya, K., Kalland, M., Hyttinen, S., Salmela-Aro, K., & Lerkkanen, M.-K. (2026). Teacher observations of loneliness and ostracism among five-year-olds: Associations with social–emotional functioning, vocabulary, and language background. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 74, 46-56.
